Want motivation? Try Disciplined refusal

By: Michael Beiter

There's always talk about motivation. Tricks, tips, hacks, you name it. Motivation is never far down the list of things to think about for anyone trying to stay consistent with exercise and nutrition.

Most of the time, I'll entertain the myriad ways people can find motivation.

But today, I will focus on a simple, hard-nosed approach: disciplined refusal.

I haven't missed a workout in like a decade. When asked how I stay motivated, I reply: "Discipline."

I share a workspace with a guy who has been at his craft for two decades and runs the strongest powerlifting gym in Iowa. He and I joke that we aim to be the Cal Ripkens of the gym, to be the most consistent for the most prolonged time. Tom Brady would be another good sports analogy.

Asking Wes how motivated he feels to train for the day is one of my favorite questions. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being no motive and 10 being the max, he usually replies -5 to 2. Motivation hasn't kept him going; discipline has.

My earliest mentor competed in natural bodybuilding shows for 17 years with one goal: to turn pro. The thousands of reps of squats, presses, and cardio minutes didn't get fueled by motivation; his discipline was like few others. He deficit dieted and then bulked up every year for nearly two decades before turning pro.

Discipline is an activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill. The skill we're talking about here is doing something when you don't feel like it - when you're not motivated.

Combine discipline with refusal, and you get the mindset of the masters.

I watched my dad drink himself to an early death; I stopped drinking after he died and refused to have alcohol ever again.

Wes watched his grandfather die of lung cancer from smoking; he has refused to smoke anything for his entire life.

My client John who just turned 40 sees poor health result of neglect in his parents and extended family; he refuses to let that be him, so he lifts weights and logs everything he eats.

Mike, another client, watched his father make loads of money and grind away his thirties, forties, and fifties, only to approach retirement and drop dead of a heart attack. He couldn't enjoy all that he sacrificed and let his health go. Mike refuses to let that be him, in a similar fashion to John. He recently lost 40 pounds, works out every day, and tracks all his food.

Kelly and Carmen have both been clients for more than five years. They have checked in with me every month for over half a decade to discuss their eating and exercise. They are in their early forties, and both refuse to let their body fat percentage rise above a mid-teen level.

Everyone mentioned in this post uses disciplined refusal to power their lifestyles. Each person has developed skills of food tracking, weight lifting, and sleeping that they practice daily. That is discipline.

I promise, the very few people who are actually in shape and stay there are motivated to workout every day and track another meal; they do it because they refuse the alternatives like lung cancer, alcoholism, obesity, and ill-health. They have mastered the skill of disciplined action; motivated or not, they get it done.

Find some people who have done what you want to do, and I bet you'll find disciplined refusal keeps them going.