A moving conversation

By: Michael Beiter

A 36-year-old woman got watery-eyed and said: "I've been waiting all my life for someone to tell me there's nothing wrong with me."

She is 15% body fat, tracks everything she eats, lifts weights regularly and has an amazing body.

But the people around her tell her she needs to eat more. "Have some pasta," they say. Or, "Quit being so controlling."

To her, it didn't make sense that people would tell her eating well and exercising the way she did was wrong. She was taking care of her health as good as she knew how and felt strong and confident. How could everyone seem to think she was screwed up? Disordered, too controlling?

"You know, after enough berating, you start believing what they say," she commented.

"I get it," I replied. "But you're not unhealthy, too controlling, or any of the things they say. You are a model of health, proven by your biometrics and backed up by doctors, trainers, and all the people who get what a healthy lifestyle looks like. You're just surrounded by those who can't do what you do and so they want to knock you down to make them feel better about themselves. It's gross."

I use the repetition method to make fit people feel better when they face criticism for their choices.

If you get 36 comments a month telling you to drink when you dont want to, that you are too controlling, or that you should eat more when you're not hungry, you need just as many reps from people saying "good job for being disciplined," "keep it up," and "way to set an example."

At a balance point of criticisms to compliments you can at least be even keeled mentally. If you can surround yourself with like minded people who control their food and exercise similarly you can shift the balance to compliments and actually feel good about your disciplines and habits instead of being berated. Finding that crowd is easier said than done, as 3/4 adults fail to sustain a healthy bodyweight and the lifestyle that goes with it, but once you do, you'll realize how much time and energy you've given to the wrong people.